20 years ago, I left my life as I knew it to begin a new. During that time one of the most important questions I grappled with was; Who Am I if I am not a (insert career) Then I remember getting a piece of paper and writing all of the answers I could think of to that question.
Who Am I if I Am Not A... Court Services Supervisor, Probation Officer, successful career person, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, leader, cousin, aunt...? What I found is that I had no clue who I was if I was not identified by some title. No Clue! So then the next question was; What do you like to do? I thought and thought and could not think of one thing that really got me excited! People and books asked, What did you like to do when you were a little girl? Again, after much thought, I really had, No Clue! (Remember this was 20 years ago.)
Flash forward to today. I have lived in Sedona, Arizona for about 20 years. I did not go back to a career in the court system or social work. Instead I decided to try on different jobs and see what I liked. I've played with colors and become an artist and enjoy quiet time and busy time. With all of the different types of work I have tried out, what I have found is most important is that I am working with people.
A few years ago I was the Assistant Manager of an Art Store similar to a coop except the artists do not have to work there. I really enjoyed that position. Learning from and supporting artists as well as the community of tourists from around the world. I lost that position a few years ago. The manager simply said I was not glowing like I did when she hired me, so she let me go. So absurd I could not take it personally. Although, you know I did. I was fired for no cause and nothing I could do about it!
Who Am I if I Am Not A... Court Services Supervisor, Probation Officer, successful career person, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, leader, cousin, aunt...? What I found is that I had no clue who I was if I was not identified by some title. No Clue! So then the next question was; What do you like to do? I thought and thought and could not think of one thing that really got me excited! People and books asked, What did you like to do when you were a little girl? Again, after much thought, I really had, No Clue! (Remember this was 20 years ago.)
Flash forward to today. I have lived in Sedona, Arizona for about 20 years. I did not go back to a career in the court system or social work. Instead I decided to try on different jobs and see what I liked. I've played with colors and become an artist and enjoy quiet time and busy time. With all of the different types of work I have tried out, what I have found is most important is that I am working with people.
A few years ago I was the Assistant Manager of an Art Store similar to a coop except the artists do not have to work there. I really enjoyed that position. Learning from and supporting artists as well as the community of tourists from around the world. I lost that position a few years ago. The manager simply said I was not glowing like I did when she hired me, so she let me go. So absurd I could not take it personally. Although, you know I did. I was fired for no cause and nothing I could do about it!
I collected unemployment for two months and then found another position. Good pay, too many hours and REAL Work, 8+ hours per day. I literally found myself wanting a drink after work. After a few months I realized the toll it was taking on me and six months later in the midst of a Global Pandemic occurring I decided it was not worth putting my life in danger on a daily basis. They thought the pandemic was a joke, no wearing masks, no social distancing and I decided it was enough. It has now been 6 months since I quit working. I applied for Social Security as I need an income, but it's not enough and I would like to get out in the community. We have a vaccine for the Covid19 Virus that caused the pandemic and we are all hoping we can get back to life.
I no longer need to ask myself, Who am I? I know who I am and I can be pretty complex and who I am really has little to do with the job I hold. I've always said I like working with people, but now I realize I do not want to work with people in all situations. I want them happy and feeling good and enjoying life. I am an educated social service person who has always been interested in helping her fellow human. I feel like I'm done with that now. I've interviewed for a few positions that would have required me to work with cancer patients or mental health issues and I've come to realize I just don't want to be a "in the service industry or helping profession" anymore!
I know today there are many of us looking for work, deciding what to do with our time and how to bring in an income. Is it worth putting our life at risk to do whatever? For many there is no choice, they must work regardless of the risk. I am blessed to be old enough to quit my job and know I would not starve. I also have my husband who of course has an income, and between the two of us we are okay. However, we do not know what the future holds, if we will be able to keep up with all of our expenses long term.
Now the question becomes, Do I get a job, any ole job to get some extra
cash, or Do I continue to search for something I would like to do,
somewhere I would like to go, doing something I care about doing?
Please leave your thoughts and ideas in the comments section.
